I saw a video here recently of a wife confronting her husband with his mistress. She was crying and begging the other woman to leave the husband alone as he wants to divorce her and she is pregnant.
it got me thinking, since its culturally acceptable for the husbands to have 4 wives, does this mean many married Malay women are worried of divorce?
After thorough investigation, your post was removed based on 2 criteria:
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I think Malay culture is more accepting of divorce and remarriage. Seems to have a higher rate than others.
Nah if anything I think most of my friends are more willing to get divorced if things go south, since many are working and have some sort of financial backup. It’s also culturally more acceptable now for divorcees as opposed to it being such a stigma.
Also interesting fact to think about it 50% of my female Malay friends who have been married are divorced and half of them (all of them have kids from previous marriage) are happily remarried. Reasons for for divorce include infidelity, useless bum and drug addict (different people).
Women dont go into marriage wanting a divorce but they secretly knows it can happen and mentally prepares for the eventuality. Especially now where women earn their own money and some of the men are not putting in the effort in the marriage, child rearing, domestic life. Like Beyonce said “So don’t you ever for a second get to thinking. You’re irreplaceable”
That goes for women as well.
No idea but, a Muslim woman can include a condition in the marriage contract stating that she does not want her future husband to have a second wife.
If the husband marries a second wife in secret without the court’s permission, he has likely committed a criminal offense under the Islamic Family Law Enactment. The wife can file for Fasakh or Ta’liq.
Can’t really contribute but I don’t think Reddit is the correct place to ask this question since the demographic here skews affluent and I think divorce insecurity would be more pressing if you’re not financially prepared for it
Divorce is not tabboo within Malays. It’s not shocking if the women are the ones asking for it. Regarding getting multiple wives, I think its a baby boomer thing and older. The ones I know of who took a second wife, the 1st wives ended up divorcing the husband eventually.
Oh and that young woman who went viral, people need to back off. Of course she’s acting irrational because just discovered her husband’s affair and hormones from pregnancy does not help (and it will be there for at least 1 year after birth). Maybe when things cool off, and the postpartum hormones are mostly gone she will want to divorce him.
There’s a lot of insecurities especially in family circles where men were encouraged to marry than one (regardless if they can afford it). A lot of dysfunctional families normalize this… and I came from similar situations like my grandparents divorced and married another and divorced and marry another… and have a lot of children who married and divorced and married…
But specifically among my millenial peers, I do think the insecurities was there because people were encouraged to marry young and then figure things out. Marry first, fall in love after marriage like its a romance novel. And not everyone was compatible and then situations where the first wife is the starter wife who have children and support the household and then the husband fall for their workmate etc. Halal je.. laki boleh kawin empat. Nafkah isteri dan anak2 very optional even after divorce. Can start over with second wife with no conscience. Saw this a lot too.
its culturally acceptable for the husbands to have 4 wives
Dude, not really. Polygamy is the minority.
Not really..marry more than 1 is very rare..not much different than the betrayal of a non malay having a mistress..the difference is just malay can marry his mistress and keep the first wife at the same time..
Of course and understandable because the syariah law is very gender bias towards the male.
If a cheating husband refuse to divorce, it will be a long, messy and expensive process to go through. If a husband wants a divorce, it can be much quicker.
I don’t think it’s because woman fear husband can marry 4. It seldom happen and they have to proof they can financially support it before it become legal anyway so it’s not like it’s a secret marriage. Cheating outside obviously is a different story.
female tend to think what others think of them. and other females are their worst enemy.
getting divorce is one of the ‘social red flag’ for women, meaning you cant take good care of your husband and family, even that husband is a real trash. Backlash from family, friends and socmed. But society is moving and being more positive towards divorcee women, but maybe the divorcee herself felt down or unworthy because she got divorced.
husband with 4 wives came from religious belief. in islam yes, male can take 4 wives if he is able to provide and be fair. people (male) only read the ‘4 wife’ part and ignore the rest, stating it’s their right to do so even how sengkek he is.
Malay culture is traditionally far more accepting of divorce than Chinese or Indian society
Culturally Malay are accepting a divorces as its been instilled in religion that if the wife and husband can’t resolve issue its permissible to divorce as last effort. Not to mention due to how asian family nucleus works the women will have no issue going back to family home and life taken care.
Me, a male, representing all malay women in this world, is the best source to answer this question. And the answer is:
Idk lol